By Barroom Genius 
There are 7 relationship red flags to never ignore. Why is this so important? Well, you’ve probably had a friend who got caught with his blinders on, dating a deceiving drama queen.
It was clear to everyone this girl was poisonous and possibly conniving. This was public knowledge that everyone seemed to know except..your friend. He was head over heels in love. It’s easy to overlook dating red flags when we are in this state of mind.
It happens. It happens often. MRI scans show that feelings of love and lust in the brain actually suppress activity in the prefrontal cortex (the part of your brain required for critical thinking and problem-solving).
Might this explain why there are so many “unsolvable” problems in relationships?….mmmm
In simpler terms, Love suppresses logic.
Feelings of intimacy and love also flood the brain with serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine. In other words, it’s like your brain’s drug dealer just had a party in your head without your permission.
Nature created this instinct within us so we could recklessly replicate without having to imagine all the potential issues that may follow.So when your brain is doped up on love, it’s very easy to overlook red flags.
It’s crucial to notice issues at the onset of the relationship because things tend to amplify over time. We mistakenly believe they will improve over time – and that’s where things get sticky.
Related Article: It’s Time to Get Over the Stigma of Online Dating
Understand these red flags to stop a toxic relationship from forming:
If she is able to play the victim role like it’s been scripted and well rehearsed backstage with a microphone and a meat-cleaver, watch out. These are undercover professionals.
Someone with a victim mentality avoids taking responsibility or admitting they have contributed to the situation they are in. The blame is always on everyone – this is a dangerous lack of self-awareness that can lead to bigger issues later.
“Everyone is against me” is their default mindset and it will eventually be projected onto you.
Victims tend to be frozen in their career and lifestyle, due to this underlying belief that they are at the mercy of everyone.
When a girl seems too interested too quickly, it should raise a few questions. I know, I know – nobody does it like you…yadda yadda. Ego aside, she’s probably more interested in the idea of you as a boyfriend. Arm candy to events. Something to prove to someone, there’s a backstory there you may not get.
Don’t let your pride blind you from being aware.
It’s also possible she is not over her ex and is using you to soften the blow or get revenge. Especially, if she starts talking to you as a boyfriend, shortly after dating.
So, if she is immediately blowing up your phone after the first date, put down the ego and notice the red flag.
It’s not about getting a constant “thank you” for every little thing you do.
You should give without expectation. It’s the psychology of cooperation and appreciation. For instance, if you pick her up from work every day (her not having a car is another red flag, but we will ignore it here).
Say you’ve been picking her up on time every day for 2 weeks and never really hear a “Thanks for the ride”, no biggie. But the following week, you get stuck at work and can’t make it – if she hits you with a “I can never count on you!” type response, you may be dealing with someone who lacks the cooperative skills to be in a healthy relationship.
Feeling appreciated in a relationship is one of the cornerstones of a successful partnership.
If you get a lecture every time you want to hang out with your friends, there is an issue. Or you may get the sweet, confusing version.
You: “Hey, I’m going to catch up on some work tonight, I’ll see you tomorrow”
Her: “Ok, well I’m in the area, so I’ll just go ahead and come over. See you in a few!!”
Some women are so used to guys bending to their will that they don’t even notice when they are trampling on your personal space. When you stand up to women like this, they can often react in rage. They see it as disrespectful for you to have the nerve to do your own thing.
They are used to getting what they want. If it’s always her way or the highway, it’s time to send her on the road. This will only get worse with time. This red flag can go unnoticed for a while, so keep an eye out.
Compromise is a learned skill, and if she hasn’t learned it by now – trust me, you are not going to be the one to teach it to her.
(Picture: Getty)
Next on the list of red flags: If her social circle is more like a traveling circus or a failed Netflix series, take notice. Girls who are constantly jumping friend circles or can’t hold on to friends indicates she’s probably not stable enough to be in a relationship.
Some girls will say “I don’t have any girlfriends, too much drama.” There may be some truth to this, but what’s more likely is, this girl could cause drama at the bottom of the ocean.
Moreover, the girlfriends that she does have…what are they like? You tend to be the average of the 5 people you hang with the most. Size up her girlfriends and see where she stands.
If her “best friend” is someone she just met, be careful. Very careful.
Is she really into yoga this week? And next week she’s taking ventriloquist courses?
If a woman can’t even commit to a hobby, she will have a difficult time committing to a man.
She is easily swayed by “boredom” and will bounce on the next shiny object. Girls that can’t stick to a hobby, often jump from job to job and guy to guy. They are constantly scanning the horizon for the next thing.
If she’s had 5 jobs in the last year, read the first chapter of 3 books in a month or bought a pet fish and ignored it until he died – move on.
(Picture: Getty)
If she refers to all her exes as “mistakes” or speaks of them very negatively…. there is something unresolved. Usually, it’s her willingness to take responsibility for what happened.
Granted, probably some of them were bastards. But the likelihood of her being a complete victim in EVERY relationship is very low.
This extends into her professional life. If her job history is flaky and her reasoning is that all of her employers were “stupid”- she has an unshakable ability to deny fault for anything.